Haven Alumni Highlight - Danielle

I was born in an addict at home too addicted parents. I was in and out of the foster care system until I was about six years old. My family decided to move from California to Wyoming at that time so that they could get sober. In 1997 When I was eight years old my parents were about two years sober and were active members of a 12-step program. We went to a camp out 12-Step convention and on the drive home we got in a car accident. The driver and my parents were being reckless and playing at the wheel saying that he would get 300 points for each construction cone he hit. It was raining and he swerved to hit the cones and swerved to miss them and lost control of the truck. My mother was ejected from the truck immediately and the rest of us were ejected shortly thereafter. After my mom passed my dad did not really know what to do. Not only had he suffered from substance use disorder his whole life, but he also suffered from severe mental illness from his drug use, as well as brain injuries. At eight years old I had to grow up incredibly young to take care of my siblings and even my dad. At a young age I learned very unhealthy coping skills and very unhealthy relationship skills. When my dad remarried, I was unsure of my role in life and felt robbed of my childhood and began to rebel. I started experimenting with marijuana pills and alcohol. My junior year in high school I was sent away to a prep school. Shortly after graduating high school I was pregnant with my first daughter. After she was born, I suffered from postpartum depression and alcoholism. The withdrawal symptoms from the alcohol were so severe that I would use opiate to help ease the discomfort.

I moved to Utah in 2009 hoping that if I changed my geographical environment that maybe I would have a different chance at life. Turns out wherever I went, there I was. I lost custody of my daughter due to my drinking and shortly thereafter became addicted to opiates. Opiates led me to a very dark place, and I became unrecognizable. I began to commit crimes, get involved in the criminal justice system, and make multiple attempts at treatment to be able to find recovery. Throughout those 10 years in my active addiction I hurt people I cared about I did not respect myself or my body and I overdosed more times than I can count. I believe there was a greater force at work, because somehow, I am still alive. There is this drug known as Naloxone or Narcan That was becoming readily available for first responders and even civilians. This drug is used to reverse an opioid overdose. I have been administered naloxone by a paramedic, a 7-Eleven clerk, and fellow addicts. In 2016 I was informed that my younger sister had Overdosed and died because of huffing air duster. This devastated me. It took me another year of use and other attempts at my life before I was finally able to accept help and change my life. On May 09, 2017 I was arrested for the last time. I had a spiritual experience in the jail cell that told me that I had had enough. I reached out to The Haven, a treatment center that I had attended before. They were willing to help me yet again. The courts did not believe that I deserved another chance at treatment, they felt I had earned to go to prison, and they were right. By the grace of God, I was able to be released from jail to The Haven that summer. When I got there, I found out that I was five months pregnant. While in treatment I learned coping skills, emotion regulation, communication skills, how to be a member of a community, and people loved me until I learned to love myself. I went to treatment a scared little girl and out of that experience emerged a woman beyond my wildest dreams. I am a survivor of trauma, sexual abuse, physical abuse in relationships, and overdoses.

Today I am a mother, daughter, partner, friend, and a valued employee of the Haven. As a peer support specialist, I Get to use my experience to help others out of a hopeless way of life that I can remember living. I Play sober Softball on the weekends. I serve on the board for Utah legal services. I work a spiritual 12-step program and sponsor other women through the program. I am currently part of a campaign for Utah naloxone and my picture is on billboards across the state of Utah to educate people about the important opportunities’ naloxone can give if one’s life is saved by naloxone being readily available. I am blessed to get to use my story to help others. It is a dream come true.