For 12 years I used a substance every day. At first, I used to be able to have fun and social, then to function, then it became my entire life. I would've given anything for just one more, and I did; I had absolutely nothing left to give and no reason to live. I honestly didn't see any other way because I gave all I could for one more high. I lied and stole from anyone I cared about. I had legal problems, and it got to the point where I didn't mind going to jail because it gave me a reprieve from the life I was living.
None of my family would talk to me and all I can remember was the feeling of being completely alone. I didn't want to live anymore because I didn't know how. I didn't even know where to begin. It got to the point where I was willing to do, and try anything, because all I knew how to do was cause chaos and destruction though my drug use and misery followed me everywhere.
A little over a year ago I was blessed to go through The Haven. And I say blessed, because I honestly feel that there isn't another place that would've or has worked for me personally. From the day I walked in the doors to now, this very day, I have been shown a way of life that can last the rest of my life -- and that is one in long term recovery. It's not an easy road leading up to landing in rehab; most of the time seemed hopeless and pointless, but the experienced clinical staff, and the active Haven Alumni Community coming around, show you that it works if you never give up. Seeing that attitude, I never gave up and continue to never give up.
I was shown AA, and the gifts that have come from giving that my all, are endless. I get to work with other women and help them find what I've found: a future, a passion for life (that was non-existent), and way out of the hell that was my life. No matter how many times or ways I tried to get myself out before, I never could do it alone and now I'll never have to be alone in this deal again. The Haven offered all the tools I needed to get sober and continues to do so even now at a year and 2 weeks.
Categories: Recovery Story
