August 20, 2019 | by
My name is Sarah C. and I am a woman in long term recovery from drugs and alcohol. I came from a good family. I excelled academically, and I knew God. In elementary school I felt insecure and wanted to fit in and so I went against my morals and started smoking cigarettes, it wasn’t long before I pushed God out of my life and began to party.
I became addicted to methamphetamines and alcohol around the age of fifteen and this continued for twenty years. In my addictions I had two children. I would get sober for my pregnancy and immediately following their births I would be back at it again, giving guardianship of them to my mom when my youngest was almost two years old. I had come to terms with the fact that an addict is all I would ever amount to and that my children were better off without me around. I spent the next thirteen years homeless and in and out of jail and abusive relationships. I hurt everyone that loved me. When I faced consequences for my actions I was quick to play the part, manipulate my way to get through the situation and then resume my addictions all over again. Three failed attempts at treatment centers and sobriety only reassured me that this was who I would always be. I was an opportunist, a cheat, a liar, a thief. I was cruel, unlovable and unforgiving of myself and others.
By the grace of God, I was arrested and booked into jail March 15th, 2016. There was no talking my way out of this one and this is where my recovery journey began. While I was incarcerated my cousin, Quinn unexpectedly passed away. He had always been my best friend, he had gotten me into treatment and encouraged me to make better choices, and without him I was broken inside and didn’t know how I would go on. He had spoken about the Haven before and what a great place it was. I finally turned back to God. When my mom suggested I go to treatment again, I was willing to do anything. What did I have to lose? If nothing else, it would get her off my back.
I walked into the Haven July 6, 2016 a shell of a woman. I did not know who I was or even what I wanted out of life. I just knew I wanted to feel better. I was scared, I was used to taking the easy way out of things. Immediately upon entering the Haven I was filled with hope. These people did not know me, yet I knew deep in my heart that they only wanted the best for me. I was intimidated by the staff because I had never met strong independent women, but I didn’t let it defer me, because it was something I began to want for myself. I was able to process my cousin’s death. After walking with my head down for such a long time I found myself walking with my head up and looking others, and even more importantly myself, in the eye. Something changed in me at the Haven. I began to feel self-worth and respect. I started to think that there was more to life than the one I had been living for so long. I truly believe there is magic in the walls of this house. It taught me love and tolerance.
My recovery has given me and my life everything that I never even knew I wanted. Today I am a strong, independent woman. I am a leader. I have rebuilt relationships with my family and especially my teenagers and the oldest now lives with me. I get work in the substance use treatment field. I sponsor other women through the 12 steps. I show up for my friends and family. I am impeccable with my word. I owe the life I have today to The Haven and God, because I would not be where I am today without them.
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